4/11/12
Charges Will be Filed in Trayvon Martin Case | ModernMom.com @ 3:04 PM
Charges Will be Filed in Trayvon Martin Case | ModernMom.com
3/31/12
quick update. @ 7:02 PM
Still no job and it's been almost a year. I feel like giving up.
I need something more. I'm lost. Mentally, I guess. I honestly don't fucking know anymore. It's like my brain is mush from trying to deal with the stress in my life.
Had a slight disagreement tonight where my emotions got the best of me (apparently, it's an interpersonal conflict). It wouldn't be the first time. And I am
REALLY trying to let it not ruin every single friendship/relationship in my life, but of course, bipolar depression, anxiety and pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD - look it up, what a damned nightmare) are all on the same team and it isn't in my favor. Awesome.
I have to go fix yet another bullshit mistake I made because I feel like killing somebody. UGH.
xx
S
10/17/11
One week of pure insanity. @ 1:44 PM
I'm laying in bed typing on my phone. I have no idea why I find comfort in this.
I had Alanna for a week by myself. No, it was not what I expected. I thought for once I could feel like a real mom by having her for a long period of time. This.. was the ultimate test on not only my sanity, but what I didn't notice before about her behaviors.
NOTE: I am not a bad mother. And if you think that, you either don't know anything about me, are not a parent, or aren't a single mom. Or you're just a fucking asshole.
Alanna tested the boundaries with me from peeing on the carpet, dumping water all over herself (the good bottled water), waking me up at 3am by turning the lights on jumping on the bed yelling "cookies mom! Cookies!", coloring herself and the sheets with markers, and biting my sister in the thigh. Monster child? Apparently it's her age, but thankfully while she was completely occupied by the movie Rio and chicken nuggets, I called preschool and enrolled her. THANK YOU JESUS!
Tomorrow will be a busy day. I'm exhausted and Alanna went to her dad's because her grandmother is home from vacation.
It's nap time.
10/12/11
Wtf. @ 11:40 AM
I've realized that I have come to a point in my life where I have to completely start over. Emotionally. Oh, and don't forget mentally.
9/28/11
Daily quote of life (: @ 9:15 PM
"The optimist lives on the peninsula of infinite possibilities; the pessimist is stranded on the island of perpetual indecision." - William Arthur Ward
4/11/12
Charges Will be Filed in Trayvon Martin Case | ModernMom.com @ 3:04 PM
Charges Will be Filed in Trayvon Martin Case | ModernMom.com
3/31/12
quick update. @ 7:02 PM
Still no job and it's been almost a year. I feel like giving up.
I need something more. I'm lost. Mentally, I guess. I honestly don't fucking know anymore. It's like my brain is mush from trying to deal with the stress in my life.
Had a slight disagreement tonight where my emotions got the best of me (apparently, it's an interpersonal conflict). It wouldn't be the first time. And I am
REALLY trying to let it not ruin every single friendship/relationship in my life, but of course, bipolar depression, anxiety and pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD - look it up, what a damned nightmare) are all on the same team and it isn't in my favor. Awesome.
I have to go fix yet another bullshit mistake I made because I feel like killing somebody. UGH.
xx
S
10/17/11
One week of pure insanity. @ 1:44 PM
I'm laying in bed typing on my phone. I have no idea why I find comfort in this.
I had Alanna for a week by myself. No, it was not what I expected. I thought for once I could feel like a real mom by having her for a long period of time. This.. was the ultimate test on not only my sanity, but what I didn't notice before about her behaviors.
NOTE: I am not a bad mother. And if you think that, you either don't know anything about me, are not a parent, or aren't a single mom. Or you're just a fucking asshole.
Alanna tested the boundaries with me from peeing on the carpet, dumping water all over herself (the good bottled water), waking me up at 3am by turning the lights on jumping on the bed yelling "cookies mom! Cookies!", coloring herself and the sheets with markers, and biting my sister in the thigh. Monster child? Apparently it's her age, but thankfully while she was completely occupied by the movie Rio and chicken nuggets, I called preschool and enrolled her. THANK YOU JESUS!
Tomorrow will be a busy day. I'm exhausted and Alanna went to her dad's because her grandmother is home from vacation.
It's nap time.
10/12/11
Wtf. @ 11:40 AM
I've realized that I have come to a point in my life where I have to completely start over. Emotionally. Oh, and don't forget mentally.
9/28/11
Daily quote of life (: @ 9:15 PM
"The optimist lives on the peninsula of infinite possibilities; the pessimist is stranded on the island of perpetual indecision." - William Arthur Ward
i my me mine.
you think you know me yeah ?
I'm 27, a single mom to a beautiful 3 year old girl, and I'm a college graduate.
I have bipolar depression.
I have many layers of complexity. I am a vast repository of both useful and useless information, which means I can be mysterious as well as great in conversation. I notice the small stuff, both the good and the bad, and always looking at the big picture can become very overwhelming. A day in my mind is like living in a garden where so much is planted that the violets cannot be distinguished from the weeds.
I started this blog as more of an outlet than anything else, but there's so much more I'd like to say, so here goes nothing..
